Dipping into the Real Fountain of Youth
By Diane Nichols, MA

IT IS SAID IN LEGEND THAT IN 1513 PONCE DE LEON, the ambitious Spanish explorer who was governor of Puerto Rico at the time grew weary of his wealth and the ways of the world. He sailed off in search of the fabled Fountain of Youth, for rumor had it that those who drank from the spring’s miraculous waters were instantly restored to the vim and vitality of body, mind, and spirit they had enjoyed in their younger days. Although Ponce de Leon never located the Fountain of Youth, (discovering Florida was his consolation prize), the secret of retaining aspects of eternal youth is available to us today. The secret is not found in a bottle of imported water or in a fancy jar of expensive face cream. You will not find it in a gym or health spa. In fact, it costs nothing and is located right under your nose. Pssst, come closer. Closer. I’m going to whisper the secret into your ear. The secret of eternal youth is…spending time with children. Now some folks might retort, “You’ve got to be kidding. What are you saying?!? I’ve got three kids. I spend time with them and they’ve aged me considerably! Have you ever driven in a carpool? I watch soccer games. I attend ballet recitals. I take them out for pizza. And do I feel younger? No! I’m exhausted!”

Ok, ok, that may all be true. But there are different kinds of “time.” The kind of time with children that restores vim and vitality is not the swirling, chaotic speeding from one planned obligation to the next that many people experience in our current society. The time with children that refreshes and leaves one feeling joyful and light requires nothing more than letting your own inner child peek his or her head out to play with them. Imagination is the key.

Children get it. Left to their own devices, they are infinitely creative. If there were no computer games or robotic dogs, no air hockey or television, no iPods or action figures, children would still discover myriad ways of keeping themselves entertained. When children enter the interior realm where imagination dwells, they can create worlds within worlds where delights abound. They are magnets of the amazing! Fountains of fun! And we can join them there if we dare. It doesn’t cost a dime. This is very good news when you look at the price of a gallon of gas or a quart of milk these days. As a bonus, both you and your child get to give and receive co-created magical memories that only take moments to share.

There was a game that my daughter and I enjoyed when she was a youngster in grade school. Before leaving the house each morning we would each give the other an invisible card so we would be reminded how much we loved and supported each other during the day. My daughter would solemnly hand me her “card” saying, “This is a lavender heart with purple lace on the edges. In the middle of the heart is a white and pink unicorn named Zanzibar. She has a sparkling mane and she is dancing on a field of flowers. On the bottom it says, “I love you, Mom” in golden letters. It also plays music if you hold it upside down.” I would take the card respectfully and thank her for her kind words and wishes before placing my card into her upturned palm, saying, “On this card is a smiling yellow duck the color of buttercups in the sun. He is wearing a polka dot party hat and holding balloons of every color. The writing on the bottom of the card says, ‘Good Luck from the duck. And Mom. xoxo.’ As an added feature, the duck winks occasionally.” We would each tuck our cards into our sleeves for safe-keeping during the day and head out the door to school and work. This ritual exchange only took about three minutes and my daughter, who is now 22, remembers it fondly to this day.

When my son Will was young, we discovered the wonders of the Dream Rabbit and his sidekick, the “Dreamu” (Dream Emu). These furry friends were mere stuffed animals amid a sea of stuffed animals in his closet until the night my son requested a dream to help him drift off to sleep. I grabbed the rabbit who happened to be close at hand, looking very dapper in his red waistcoat, black bow tie, and checkered breeches. The rabbit hopped up over the bedcovers and stood gazing into my son’s curious face. He explained in a throaty voice that he had a dream for Will and that in fact, he had a dream for every single child in the world which is why he had to pass it along fairly quickly and then get moving. After all, children in Venezuela were waiting for him expectantly. (Every night the Dream Rabbit was rushing off to another part of the world.) The rabbit brushed my son’s nose with his paws to make sure the way was clear for the dream to enter. (Until the Dream Rabbit showed up, we had no idea that dreams actually enter a person through the nostrils.) Night after night the rabbit would weave his words into wonderful, comforting dreams. “Tonight you are an otter slipping and sliding down a muddy hill. Splash! You dive into a cool stream where six of your otter friends are playing tag. You chase tiny fish and play hide-and-seek in the reeds. Your body is sleek and powerful. You feel the sun warming your otter fur. You feel happy.” The Dream Rabbit would then kiss each cheek, assuring my son that he was going to have a deep, restful sleep filled with the best dream he’d ever had. He hopped off the bed and bounded into the hall calling his signature farewell over his shoulder, “The best dream you’ve ever had! Don’t forget!” The funny thing was that more often than not, the next morning my son would quite happily declare that he had actually had the dream the Dream Rabbit had bestowed upon him the night before. He looked forward to this simple bedtime ritual. We both did!

There are golden opportunities to connect with your child while driving in the car. Rather than writhing because you are stuck in traffic “wasting time,” you might enjoy a visit to the Fantasy Playground together. This is a place of pure creation with infinite possibilities. Ask each other aloud, “If you could be anywhere in the universe doing anything right now where would you be and what would you be doing? Who would be with you? What does this place look like? Smell like? Does anything there taste interesting? Are there any unexpected lovely surprises that you encounter there?” You can build a scene separately with each person sharing his or her individual fantasy or you can build a co-created scene together, taking turns filling in details. Take the lid off! Release your inner censor! Would you like to be a mermaid singing with dolphins off the Western coast of Atlantis at sunrise? What would it be like to have an elaborate tea party up in a tree with a friendly family of hedgehogs all wearing baseball hats? Can you soar upon the back of a yodeling parrot all the way to the Pleiades where a feast of pomegranates and cinnamon toast awaits you?
You can modify this game with older children or even your spouse. “If everything was going exactly as you wish it would right now in your life, what would that look like? How would you feel if all of that was really happening?” This is a powerful manifestation tool. The more attention you give to these internal images, and the more you repeat them, the more likely they are to come true. (I can’t vouch for the pomegranate feast on the Pleiades, however.) Many Olympic athletes successfully use this effective technique to reduce stress and perfect their abilities. You may notice that you feel lighter while you are imagining such an abundance of good things coming your way.

Another way to put a youthful spring in your step is by dancing. Play all kinds of music: Classical, Jazz, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Big Band, and Hip Hop. Try some Gregorian chants or music from other countries. Spice it up! Alternate between slow music and fast. Make up new steps with your child and name your dances. “The Peanut Butter Polka.” “The Crazy Itch.” “The Shivering Sloth.” Teach your child how to Waltz and ask to be shown one of his original dance creations. In her adult seminars, Jean Houston (a leader in the human potential movement) often asks audience members to conduct music with various parts of their bodies, including eyelashes, elbows, and toes -- sometimes all at once. This is a fun exercise that lifts one’s mood and pumps up energy levels.

Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation where you have to wait with children to be served. This might be in a doctor’s office, in line at the grocery store, or in a restaurant. At times like these, there is a simple imagination game that makes the minutes fly by more quickly. Each player draws forth an outfit from The Miraculous Closet and describes each article of clothing as they “dress” the other person. This can be done with movement or you can enjoy just talking through it, depending on your comfort level wearing invisible clothing in public places. Pretend you are dressing a science fiction robot for an important research mission on the planet Yada Yada. Be extravagant! Imagine that you are dressing Marie Antoinette for a royal costume ball. What would a cranky troll wear in the mountains of Norway? A fairy? A circus performer?
Another way to share your child’s youthful zeal is to slow down and really notice the world around you. I was driving on a busy street in Seattle one day with my three and a half year old son strapped into his car seat behind me. We stopped at a red light beside an outdoor Farmer’s Market where piles of apples, oranges, and assorted vegetables had been neatly displayed in wooden crates. My son turned to look at the produce for sale and I heard his small voice in the back seat sigh, “Oh, Mama. Look at all of the beautiful gifts Mother Earth has given us.” Something stirred inside of me. I thought about an orange growing on a tree, soaking in sunshine and rain. I thought about the sweet smell of an orange as it is peeled, its luminous interior saturated with juice, and in that moment my heart expanded. I thought of all of the oranges and other foods that are produced on the earth each year and how many people take these amazing, generous gifts for granted. I thought of air and clean water and violets. I thought of clouds and sand and ladybugs. It took a child’s perspective of wonder to snap me awake from my routine of sleepwalking through life. Want to stay young and fully alive? Take time to see and feel with a fresh, open heart.

Stretching your imagination and engaging with children in interesting ways may not pay the Visa bill or help you to decide what to fix for dinner. It won’t fill out tax forms or get that stubborn stain out of your good tablecloth. But it will lift your spirits, help you to feel years younger, and sprinkle a little magic into your days. So set your worries aside for a few minutes. Dive in to the Fountain of Youth and drink to your heart’s content. It’s worth it. Your child and your inner child will thank you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Diane Nichols received her M.A. in Partnbership Education from Goddard College. She is the creative director of Untamed Imagination: Fearless Arts Exploration for All Ages and is currently writing a book with the same title. In addition to being Education Editor of IP Magazine, Diane also works as a freelance editor and education consultant. Through the years she has learned a great deal from children and is always amazed at their unique perspectives, their wisdom, and their freedom of expression.