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Don’t Shout! Your Child Might be Kinesthetic by Mary English

dont_shout_150pxI saw a lovely young man in my consulting rooms yesterday. He’s a fine Dad and looks after his three children really well, but he was struggling a little with his oldest.

Oldest child is a Taurus.

Taurus is an Earth sign.

Taurus is a Fixed sign.

He said he has to shout at her to get her to ‘do’ anything and was feeling bad that this was happening…

I’ve heard this SO many times in my practice that today I thought I’d write a short article to help other Dads, Mums, Moms….Carers, Grandparents and Nannies understand why shouting really doesn’t work with certain children.

Ignoring Astrology for a minute, I’d just like to tell you about the three major learning styles.

Learning Styles
We all have senses (including the 6th sense, but I’ll ignore that for today) and they are

Hearing – Auditory
Seeing – Visual
Touching – Kinesthetic
Tasting – Gustatory
Smelling – Olfactory

If you want to learn something, you’ll use one of more of these senses. I’m visual and need to ‘see’ something to understand it…..might be why I love Astrology so much as I look at charts all day….

Whatever your learning style is, it determines how you process new information.

If you’re a visual person, then you will want to look at people when they’re talking to you, and equally, will want to be looked at, to feel like you’re being understood.

If you’re kinesthetic, things are different…

When my son was at infants school, the teacher wrote on one of his reports that he was kinesthetic. I had no idea what this meant, until I investigated and discovered that it meant he would learn better if he ‘felt’ things as he did them.

Feeling Self
This made sense. I remembered how, when he wanted to learn to skate and skateboard, he had to actually ‘do’ things to learn them. It wasn’t any good me describing how to do it, or even to have the other kids show him, he had to get on the board and actually fall off a few times and get his balance.

A kinesthetic child won’t look at you when you’re talking to them….they’ll look everywhere except at you because they’re concentrating to hear what you want and absorbing the information.

Remember all those teachers at school who used to shout: ‘LOOK at me when I’m talking to you!’… they’re visual people (like me) and they feel misunderstood unless you’re looking back at them.

Feeling, or kinesthetic children need to absorb what you want them to know, by using their bodies. They need to feel what you’re saying…

So, if you want your kinesthetic child to put their shoes on, or get dressed or hurry up, shouting at them won’t work (unless they’re auditory)…as they can’t work out what you want.

The Gentle Touch
So what I explained to this very nice Dad, was to touch, gently, his child when he’s speaking to her. Maybe on her arm, or gently on her back, but a gentle touch will connect him and her and she’ll suddenly ‘hear’ what you’re saying and be able to understand you.

So how do you know what learning style your child has?

Do they look at you when you’re talking? If they don’t look, they’re either auditory (and shouting will blast them off the planet, so don’t do that either, just raise your voice slightly) or kinesthetic.

I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve shared this information with and how each time, it brings a happy parent into the world and I get feedback like:

Have been doing it since I picked her from school yesterday , things are great now, Thank you.”

“WOW, I never thought just one gentle touch would make him listen to me. I’m amazed. Thanks!!”

“Dear Mary, thank you for your simple tip. George is now doing what I’m asking him to do, I’m happier, he’s happier and I’m not shouting anymore and everything is wonderful!!”

The Astrology of Learning Styles
If you’re into Astrology, I’ll explain why I just knew this child was kinesthetic, just from her chart. Little Ellen is a Taurus with a Capricorn Moon. Most children with a lot of Earth in their charts, will be kinesthetic learners.

My son has Moon in Capricorn, and quite a few planets in Earth signs, so he feels more understood and listened to, if I gently touch him when he tells me something. If he needs to learn something new, like cooking, we do it together.

I don’t show him how it’s done, I give him the ingredients and talk him through the process as he goes. When the water boils, or the vegetables need chopping, I explain what’s happening as he does it, so he can feel his way into the learning.

If your child has a lot of Air in their chart (I’ve got a Gemini Moon and Venus and Mars in Aquarius) you’ll find they learn best using Show and Tell. They like pictures and visual images explaining how to ‘do’ something.

If I need to learn how to do something, I go to YouTube and ‘watch’ the person doing what I’m trying to find out.

If your child has a lot of Water in their chart, they might need to learn by using touch AND smell AND taste to learn something well.

One little boy I worked with, had to taste everything. He’d put things in his mouth, suck on pencils and pens, suck his thumb, chew bits of paper…There was nothing wrong with his mental state of mind, he was just a very sensory learner.

If your child has a lot of Fire in their chart, you might find that they learn best just ‘Doing it’. They don’t need to be shown, or touched, they might have their major learning style as auditory and will hear what you say… and be zooming off to do it.

Have a look at their chart, and the predominant Element will a clue to their learning style.


Mary English is a professional Astrologer with more than 15 years of private practice. She is also a qualified Homeopath and also holds a certificate in counselling skills.
She practices in Bath, England, at



mary_english_150px_sqMARY ENGLISH is a professional Astrologer and Homeopath who uses her skills in her private practice to empower her clients and guide them to a fuller life. She lives in Bath, England.

She is the author of several books on astrology and her latest book which is A Little at a Time: Homeopathy for You and Those You Love published by Ayni Books, and offers private sessions in person and over Skype, which incorporate astrology and homeopathy.